Two Less Chairs Filled
People often debate which is better, youngest, oldest, or middle child. Personally I think that there are upsides and downsides to all of them. When you are the oldest you get most things first, but you are also considered as the role model of your other siblings. Parents aren’t always sure of how to parent because they haven’t gone through it yet. The middle kids, I think, get a lot of slack; however, they are the middle kids, which tend to get lumped with the older kid. Youngest kids normally end up getting the things that the oldest and middle kids do sooner and, they are always the babies of the family, but if there is a big age difference between the youngest kid and the 2 older kids, they get left behind at home while their older siblings go to college or move out. I am the youngest member of my family, and I am now the only child living in my house.
I’ve lived in four different houses, in three different towns. The one thing that has stayed permanent through these changes was my family. I think that made us all closer because at times we were all that each other had so we had to be important to each other, because I always had someone, growing older, for me, was always fun. Our family had family dinners every Sunday where we would talk about our weeks, there were five chairs and now only three are used, which naturally makes the conversation at the table less interesting. No matter what my brother and sister were doing or how old they were they were always there for me in good times to bad. It was almost like I never fell too hard because they were always there to catch me. My sister and I were really close. She would make me talk to her even if I didn’t want to because she could always tell I needed to. We would always bake together, we used to bake cupcakes and hers would come out perfect and mine would be all messed up but she would always help me clean up even when I dropped a Pyrex glass bowl filled with sticky meringue frosting and my mom was really mad at me. If I needed a friend she was there for me. If I had a bad day she would always make me feel better or drive me to get ice cream with her or watching our favorite show, Gilmore Girls and in return when she needed somebody to talk I helped her and she would tell me everything.
My brother and I were close in a different way. A brother can never be as close as two sisters, but we always had a lot of fun together. He would always tease me and make fun of me but I knew that he loved me and that was what mattered. We would stay up late and play games and watch movies. Whenever I was bored I could just go and bother him or tackle him and my problem was solved. Aside from being my brother and sister and always being there for me now, Kristen and Bennett were also a big part of my childhood. When I was younger they were who I wanted to play with. I could be immature because they weren’t grown up yet, if I ran around the house pretending to be a dog or something they would always laugh. My brother gave me his pirate ship when I stopped sucking my thumb and my sister let me dress up with her and her friend. It’s not like because they are gone and basically all grown up I have to be that to, it just that because they have gone I had no choice but growing up. They were like my training wheels that I finally had to take off. It was hard to do but I’ve grown up a little bit more because of that. When Kristen and Bennett left I had to figure out things on my own. Of course I can call them so it’s not like they are entirely gone, but they don’t always have time for me. There are so many things about my brother and sister that I loved but I knew they were growing up, even though I didn’t want them to. When my sister left it didn’t feel the same at home anymore. I had to figure out my problems by myself because there are just some things that you would only tell a sister. I felt like I had lost her, but I still had my brother. Even though he was out almost every night with friends I loved having him home. When he left that’s when I felt like I truly lost someone. When both of them were gone I had to face myself by myself for pretty much the first time. At first it was hard because I was so used to them being there. I didn’t fully appreciate them until I no longer had them, that was maybe the first thing I learned. I didn’t realize how lucky I was to have two siblings I was so close to. I didn’t even give it a second thought. They weren’t a gift, they were my life. As I watched them both go I realized what it was like for only children who never got to feel how good it was to hug their sister or brother and I got the tiniest glimpse of what it would be like for kids who had their siblings die. I still consider myself lucky because even though Kristen and Bennett are in college I still get to see them. Whenever they come home for summer or Christmas vacation it’s a little weird at the start because after awhile I have to get used to not having them at home but it almost seems as short as a day and then we are all back to the way it used to be.
Now, because for the most part they are gone, I have a lot more responsibility and I also have much higher expectations. If I do something wrong then it is the only thing my parents really have to focus on so it becomes more of a problem than it would actually be. Having three siblings in the house it is hard for parents to solely focus on one kid. We were all going different directions all the time and it was fun, but things were crazy. My brother and sister actually got more attention for awhile because they were looking at colleges. To be honest it was better that way. Now my parents are always focused on me. Attention is nice, but too much attention just gets old. I feel bad because sometimes afterschool I don’t want to do anything besides go into my room and relax but they always want to hear about my day. Knowing that my parents are paying closer attention to me than before I have to do my best at what I do. It’s not that I am the only one who has to do this it is just that when there are three kids in a house it is hard to single out one kid all of the time.
My brother and sister leaving has forced me to grow up more than if they were still here. I have had to face losing some one; gaining responsibility and pushing my comfort zone to get to know new people and try new things because it wasn’t a guarantee that my brother and sister could help with that anymore. I will always love them in ways that only a sibling could know but by them leaving I have been able to experience new things and gain so much more knowledge that I actually learned myself. Not that was just passed down to me from somebody else’s point of view. I now know that I can’t always get what I want because even though I may want it right then, it will be better for me in the long run to not have it. In a way I have grown up with them, but not as much of course.