The Falling
About five years ago my family went up to the white mountains during the
winter so my sister and I could learn how to snowboard. Before that trip I had always
wanted to try snowboarding. All my friends did it and I thought it might be really
fun. I loved watching snowboarding shows and movies and was so excited to finally get
to do it. After the five hour drive up to the Greer Lodge, we finally made it to the cabin
we were staying in. It was pretty late so we went to sleep the second we got in our
beds.
The next morning we got up at 7 A.M. to get all our things together and got to the
slopes before the big crowd came in. When we got there my dad singed us up for
lessons so my sister and I left to go meet up with the snowboard instructor. He taught us
the basics, to remember to bend your knees and keep your back straight. We practiced
just standing up on the snowboards and getting used to how they fell on our feet for a
couple minutes. Then he decided to take us up to thetop of the bunny hill so we could
try going down a slope for the first time. My sister and I were only able to actually ride
the snowboard for about 2 feet until we would fall. After about two hours of practicing we
finally made it down the bunny hill. I was overjoyed to finally make it down that hellish
snowy hill and I thought I could take on any slope as long as I had my snowboard with
me. My sister said that we should attempt to go down a green (which if you don’t ski or
snowboard is a small hill, but longer than the bunny slope.) I thought to myself “Well
why not?” and we took the ski lift up to the first green. The first thing I did when I got to
the top was just drop straight down into the hill and let me just say that it was a bad
idea. To be perfectly honest, I slid down the whole hill on my back. When I finally got
back to the lift after sliding for about an hour, I was so aggravated with falling and
getting covered in snow that I decided to give up. I took off my snowboard and went to
the restaurant to wait until we could leave. My sister and dad came in and said “Jake,
you’ve been talking about snowboarding and how excited you were to try it but now your
just sitting around doing nothing?” They finally talked me into going back out one more
time just to give it one more try.
That all happened about five years ago. Now, because my sister and dad
convinced me to try it one more time way back then, snowboarding is one of my favorite
things to do in the world. I can do black diamonds, jumps, rails, and other tricks. Also, I
learned from the whole situation that giving up after trying something once is just a
childish thing to do. You have to keep trying at something if you really want it to work out
for you. Since I kept trying at snowboarding, i’ve gotten pretty good and I do it at least
twice a year. I plan to keep on snowboarding until I die or I guess until I just can’t do it
anymore.
Comments (7)
ndeitch said
at 6:35 pm on Sep 20, 2010
Great story Jake. There are some grammatical errors like you need to capitalize I in a couple places, but overall a good story. I think that the whole part of how you need to work at something is a great thing but kind of a cliche. To make it better, perhaps not get rid of it, but add on and make it a little more personal.
Aaron Warner said
at 7:23 pm on Sep 20, 2010
It is a very good story. There are some gramatical errors though.
Grant Ross said
at 2:37 pm on Sep 21, 2010
Great story, but (as other people said) there are some errors. I thought that the cliché in the video made the video more enjoyable and funnier to watch, but try to add a little "spice" to your story itself :D
garrett said
at 4:03 pm on Sep 21, 2010
I actually really liked it jake, like lagit, it was awesome. I couldnt find any problem with it, it had a great theme, good grammer, it was a little on the short side but it was well rouded so it was okey. Short and sweet, i like it, good work.
sliewen said
at 7:17 pm on Sep 21, 2010
Aww very cute story. A couple grammar problems; run on sentences, but in all really good. The video was also really good, and it made me laugh.
Victoria said
at 8:24 pm on Sep 21, 2010
Great story, I love snowboarding as well. I liked your style and ffelt if flowed nicely. Also, loved the video made me laugh XD
Natassja said
at 10:53 pm on Sep 21, 2010
Your video made me laugh, Pierce was perfect as your mom. The story itself was good, a bit more detail would have been fine, but it flows well anyway. The "cliche" is in there, but I feel like since this is a coming of age story, there are going to be cliches and they are unavoidable. I liked that you described the slopes as hellish, it showed your major dislike for them.
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