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Aaron W

Page history last edited by Aaron Warner 13 years, 5 months ago

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It's Always Sunny in New Jersey

 When I was 8 years old I moved from New Jersey to Tucson. I knew it was coming all summer but I never thought the day would come. When my mom told me we were going to move I said I would never do it. On the days leading to the move I felt like a prisoner on death row. On August 26 ,2004 my Mom and I got in her 

car and started driving.

    

      To make it fun my Mom took me to visit some landmarks. First we went to Niagara Falls. It was the most beautiful place I have ever been to. Going on the boat that took me to the bottom of the waterfall was amazing. I was sad that I wasn’t moving to Canada. Next I went to Michigan. This was before the recession 

so Detroit was still a thriving city and the Pistons had just won the NBA Finals. My cousin lived in Michigan, so I stayed with her family for about two weeks, and then went to Missouri. I didn’t think there was anything in Missouri worth visiting, but apparently my Mom did. While we were there we visited the hometown of Mark Twain. It has been turned into a museum about him and the time period in which he lived. I also got to make ice cream for the first, and only time. The ice cream tasted really good.Next came California. We drove past Arizona because my mom wanted to visit her collegeroommate. She lives in Laguna Beach and her

house is huge. I loved being so close to the beach, the weather, and the food. Then we went to New Mexico.By then I was tired of going to all these new places that all seemed so much better than Arizona, even Missouri. I was sad that I hadn’t seen my friends or my Grandparents. 

     

When I got to Arizona it was over 100 degrees. I had never been in weather so hot. I hated Tucson. It was too small, too hot, and there was a mountain lion in my backyard. Tucson was the worst place I had ever been to. I think my mom taking me to all those cool places was the worst idea ever. I realized how many better 

places I could have lived. I thought Tucson was the most boring city in the world. When I got to our apartment it was the ugliest place I had ever seen. There was a tree outside my window that was really scary, so I couldn’t sleep, and there was no TV. I stayed up all night thinking of ways to get back to New Jersey. The second day in Tucson was not much better. I had to unpack everything, It took hours.    

     The move from New Jersey to Arizona was the worst time of my life, but I learned to deal with it. I learned that life can never stay the same for too long. Before this I thought that I would 

go to school, then come home and play basketball for the rest of my life. My move to Tucson 

made me realize that eventually I would have to get a job and leave my mom. I couldn’t 

live with her for the rest of my life. I never liked Tucson and I still don’t but moving was a 

coming of age process. 

 

Comments (5)

Michael Delay said

at 11:32 am on Sep 10, 2010

Good flow, consider revising the areas highlighted, overall a good story. Very good story overall and I like most of it. good job

Kate Oubre said

at 4:55 am on Sep 14, 2010

Aaron,

Your formatting is all out of whack. Correct it so that your paragraphs are even and end at the end of the line.

ndeitch said

at 6:47 pm on Sep 20, 2010

Aaron, your flow is okay. I do think that it needs work. Possibly milk the part about the mountain lion. Also, make sure you emphasize the fact that you had gone to all these cool places and now it is 100 degrees in Tucson, Arizona. Make sure you make that point clear to us.

garrett said

at 3:56 pm on Sep 21, 2010

Overall the story is pretty good, it has some problems though. I feel like it was lacking some detail and emotion, it just doesn't seem right with this story being so complex and emotional and have not details or emotion. In addition, it could be a little longer, if you do those three things you would have a stellar story. Overall, good work.

Jake Rogers said

at 8:53 pm on Sep 21, 2010

Good story man. It lacked some emotion but it was pretty entertaining.

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